Letter from An Unlikely Pacifist
I cured Alzheimer's. Me. I did it. Right here. I also paved the way for others to find the cure for buckets full of other genetic maladies, but their names escape me. My target was Alzheimer's, because there was lots of funding available for anyone who wanted to aim the double barrels of science and medicine at it. Pow! Take that, forgetfulness!
Here's how I did it: I took the extreme approach. It took a while. Through the use of modified bacteria (luckily this part was half-done for me, we've been using bacterium as convenient protein carriers for years, decades even) I starting manipulating human genetics. Transforming certain strings of code that, through the Human Genome Project god blessit, I was convinced held the info and misfiring directions that were the source of the problem.
It took a lot of trial and error, most of which I'd rather not discuss.
At first I got a hold of Staph and Strep bacteria. Really nasty strains that had evolved beyond the reach of antibiotics. That certainly wasn't easy. At first I was convinced that the bacteria would have to be unbreakable, so to speak, or else common medicine would be able to wipe out the carriers before change could be enacted in a subject's genetic sequence.
This was also a bad idea, and thankfully one that didn't last too long before I realized I could use common digestive bacteria to much greater effect. So the dangerous bacteria went back to whatever Level 4 quarantine it gets stored in and I began playing around.
Before long, I had it. The precise sequence and how it had to be changed. After the first success I immediately entered my hermetic bio-cube. I am determined to see how the behavioral changes would affect the global population. My main mission accomplished, I monitored the news, internet, radio, and television constantly, working on what they had actually given me grants for: eliminating Alzheimer's. This also took a while, but it gave me something to do while the bacteria spread around the world and began to affect change.
I have pacified the world, you see. Rolled up my sleeves and knocked the mean gene from the human race. It's gone. All ruffled feathers shall become smooth. Animosity, war, jealousy, hate will all become quaint historical terms in a couple decades. I have my reasons for all of this. I'm sure you do too.
Soon I will be the only one on the planet capable of hatred, and that is a delightful thought. I find myself sometimes bounding around my bio-cube screaming as many terrible epithets as I can think of, just because I can. Just because they will soon be powerless to affect anyone. Finally I have let them out to play, but there is no one for them to play with anymore.
Things have become a great deal less sensational since the behavioral change began to circle the planet. News programs are actually informative instead of accusative (and there are now only enough news stations to suit the population, instead of two per channel). Entertainment becomes increasingly boring, though it remains steady in its uneven qualities. Brilliance has been given more of a chance to shine, but drama and conflict are quickly becoming memories as well. Religion is as prevalent as ever, though.
I watch everyday from my little bubble. Somedays I become truly worried. Things are getting slower and slower our there in the yonder. No one feels the need to accomplish anything anymore, fearful of any damaging effects. There is less and less innovation. Many seem confused at how pacified they should be. There is being polite and considerate and then there is being isolated and wooden. Of course, it's truly ironic that I myself am isolationist, though still capable of negative actions and thoughts.
My new world is yet young, though, and there is no telling what may yet happen. The next generation may kill themselves en masse from boredom, or they may devote themselves to the arts, to math, and to science.
I have no idea what I myself may do. Open the door one day and let myself join the world I created? Or continue to observe until death? It is a mystery to me. A great mystery that I think, I hope, shall never be solved.
Here's how I did it: I took the extreme approach. It took a while. Through the use of modified bacteria (luckily this part was half-done for me, we've been using bacterium as convenient protein carriers for years, decades even) I starting manipulating human genetics. Transforming certain strings of code that, through the Human Genome Project god blessit, I was convinced held the info and misfiring directions that were the source of the problem.
It took a lot of trial and error, most of which I'd rather not discuss.
At first I got a hold of Staph and Strep bacteria. Really nasty strains that had evolved beyond the reach of antibiotics. That certainly wasn't easy. At first I was convinced that the bacteria would have to be unbreakable, so to speak, or else common medicine would be able to wipe out the carriers before change could be enacted in a subject's genetic sequence.
This was also a bad idea, and thankfully one that didn't last too long before I realized I could use common digestive bacteria to much greater effect. So the dangerous bacteria went back to whatever Level 4 quarantine it gets stored in and I began playing around.
Before long, I had it. The precise sequence and how it had to be changed. After the first success I immediately entered my hermetic bio-cube. I am determined to see how the behavioral changes would affect the global population. My main mission accomplished, I monitored the news, internet, radio, and television constantly, working on what they had actually given me grants for: eliminating Alzheimer's. This also took a while, but it gave me something to do while the bacteria spread around the world and began to affect change.
I have pacified the world, you see. Rolled up my sleeves and knocked the mean gene from the human race. It's gone. All ruffled feathers shall become smooth. Animosity, war, jealousy, hate will all become quaint historical terms in a couple decades. I have my reasons for all of this. I'm sure you do too.
Soon I will be the only one on the planet capable of hatred, and that is a delightful thought. I find myself sometimes bounding around my bio-cube screaming as many terrible epithets as I can think of, just because I can. Just because they will soon be powerless to affect anyone. Finally I have let them out to play, but there is no one for them to play with anymore.
Things have become a great deal less sensational since the behavioral change began to circle the planet. News programs are actually informative instead of accusative (and there are now only enough news stations to suit the population, instead of two per channel). Entertainment becomes increasingly boring, though it remains steady in its uneven qualities. Brilliance has been given more of a chance to shine, but drama and conflict are quickly becoming memories as well. Religion is as prevalent as ever, though.
I watch everyday from my little bubble. Somedays I become truly worried. Things are getting slower and slower our there in the yonder. No one feels the need to accomplish anything anymore, fearful of any damaging effects. There is less and less innovation. Many seem confused at how pacified they should be. There is being polite and considerate and then there is being isolated and wooden. Of course, it's truly ironic that I myself am isolationist, though still capable of negative actions and thoughts.
My new world is yet young, though, and there is no telling what may yet happen. The next generation may kill themselves en masse from boredom, or they may devote themselves to the arts, to math, and to science.
I have no idea what I myself may do. Open the door one day and let myself join the world I created? Or continue to observe until death? It is a mystery to me. A great mystery that I think, I hope, shall never be solved.
posted by greenland at 3:08 AM
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