Letter from An Actual Person
The first time this "Letter of the Week" blog has received an actual letter! Read on...all three of you.
The Prince and Harry
by Jason Boodgewah
“Don’t larf at the dog they say they say,” cried the wicked gnome, “or you’ll get it, too.”
Once upon a time in a far away land, not too far from here- but far enough that an automobile must have been used to reach there -lived a Prince and his dog. The Prince was hairy and the dog was of that name. The Prince would walk Harry outside once a day no more, but often less. Some of the times, the common folk outside the castle would laugh at the dog and point. This mutt had a condition you see, one that you wouldn’t want. Perhaps you shouldn’t even hear about it. Perhaps you feel that the learning of this condition would somehow subject you to contracting this condition. Perhaps you have this condition and perhaps I don’t wish to make you feel ashamed since this condition has just been referred to as something one should be embarrassed to have.
It is not even worth stating, so I guess I won’t, but if I didn’t you might miss something important so I will tell you that this ridicule would sadden the dog to no end. Some have claimed that they have seen the dog cry tears as a human would. The only exception is that Harry’s tears smelled of dog food.
“Well,” the Prince would often, with a sense of piousness, proudly proclaim to his pooch, “they are no better than you. This horrible condition has rendered you to appear as a wretch to many- so grotesque that the average man becomes squeamish and recoils in disgust (and vomits on occasion when a receptacle is near), that an entity so pure and untainted as an infant cries in horror, that there is not one living being like you and not one that would wish upon one’s evilest enemy to be like you in your state of being-, but I find that it gives you an enormous amount of character, old boy. You should hold your dog head up high for you are one of God’s children and so am I. Therefore, we are brothers and no brother of mine shall be looked upon or talked upon as a creature of repugnance.”
The Prince had a way with words that very few did in the village or the castle for that matter. Harry liked to be complimented in this way and as a result, his tail would wag left to right or right to left (depending on who you’d ask).
The Prince and Harry
by Jason Boodgewah
“Don’t larf at the dog they say they say,” cried the wicked gnome, “or you’ll get it, too.”
Once upon a time in a far away land, not too far from here- but far enough that an automobile must have been used to reach there -lived a Prince and his dog. The Prince was hairy and the dog was of that name. The Prince would walk Harry outside once a day no more, but often less. Some of the times, the common folk outside the castle would laugh at the dog and point. This mutt had a condition you see, one that you wouldn’t want. Perhaps you shouldn’t even hear about it. Perhaps you feel that the learning of this condition would somehow subject you to contracting this condition. Perhaps you have this condition and perhaps I don’t wish to make you feel ashamed since this condition has just been referred to as something one should be embarrassed to have.
It is not even worth stating, so I guess I won’t, but if I didn’t you might miss something important so I will tell you that this ridicule would sadden the dog to no end. Some have claimed that they have seen the dog cry tears as a human would. The only exception is that Harry’s tears smelled of dog food.
“Well,” the Prince would often, with a sense of piousness, proudly proclaim to his pooch, “they are no better than you. This horrible condition has rendered you to appear as a wretch to many- so grotesque that the average man becomes squeamish and recoils in disgust (and vomits on occasion when a receptacle is near), that an entity so pure and untainted as an infant cries in horror, that there is not one living being like you and not one that would wish upon one’s evilest enemy to be like you in your state of being-, but I find that it gives you an enormous amount of character, old boy. You should hold your dog head up high for you are one of God’s children and so am I. Therefore, we are brothers and no brother of mine shall be looked upon or talked upon as a creature of repugnance.”
The Prince had a way with words that very few did in the village or the castle for that matter. Harry liked to be complimented in this way and as a result, his tail would wag left to right or right to left (depending on who you’d ask).
posted by greenland at 1:06 PM
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