Letter from The Lion Statue In Madison Square Park
I get such a huge amount of play, I've gotta tell you. I know Madison Square Park is considered one of the most mundane squares of green in this city, but I tell you it's perfect for me. Check this shit out: There ain't no other statue around, I own this place. They look up and what do they see? They see the Empire State Building and they see me. Both of us titans of steel and stone, strong and ruthless, standing over them. We're fucking kings. But I'm supposed to be a king. I'm a lion.
Sure, I let the kids play around me. I let the young professionals sit on my steps and use their palm pilots or read their books or play with their cell phones. I encourage all that shit because you know what? They don't feel safe doing that anywhere else but under me and see, that's all I'm talking about? Where do you go when you need big papa lion to protect you? Right here.
Sometimes I don't get all the respect I deserve. Like those ratty ass pigeons? I can hear them talking shit. Chubby little fucks, squatting around and eating crap off the ground. They got a lot to learn, a lot to figure out about life. There's an order, there's a reason they made me out of immortal stone. You don't respect that order, you don't acknowledge your betters than you end up fat and feathered and waddling around on the ground.
Check it out, pigeons. You take a dump on me one more time and I'm gonna jump off this pedestal and start using teeth. Make a fucking omelette out of you motherfuckers.
See them humans? They know how it rolls around here and look at what they got. They got all this technology and nice clothes and shit. They build rooms that give them food whenever they want, they got it all figured out. They know they owe it all to me and they recognize that. Their kids are annoying, and whenever one of them jumps in the fountain I feel this weird desire to rip them to shreds...but otherwise they alright.
Yeah, I got nothing to complain about. Look at this palatial estate I got. It's fuckin' beautiful and ever since they cleared out the crackheads it's been nothing but easy times. I mean, sometimes I miss the addicts. Hardly anyone ever talks to me now that they're gone, but you know, you gotta take the bad with the good. That's what I always say. Wait, what?
I don't even exist?
Man, fuck you.
Sure, I let the kids play around me. I let the young professionals sit on my steps and use their palm pilots or read their books or play with their cell phones. I encourage all that shit because you know what? They don't feel safe doing that anywhere else but under me and see, that's all I'm talking about? Where do you go when you need big papa lion to protect you? Right here.
Sometimes I don't get all the respect I deserve. Like those ratty ass pigeons? I can hear them talking shit. Chubby little fucks, squatting around and eating crap off the ground. They got a lot to learn, a lot to figure out about life. There's an order, there's a reason they made me out of immortal stone. You don't respect that order, you don't acknowledge your betters than you end up fat and feathered and waddling around on the ground.
Check it out, pigeons. You take a dump on me one more time and I'm gonna jump off this pedestal and start using teeth. Make a fucking omelette out of you motherfuckers.
See them humans? They know how it rolls around here and look at what they got. They got all this technology and nice clothes and shit. They build rooms that give them food whenever they want, they got it all figured out. They know they owe it all to me and they recognize that. Their kids are annoying, and whenever one of them jumps in the fountain I feel this weird desire to rip them to shreds...but otherwise they alright.
Yeah, I got nothing to complain about. Look at this palatial estate I got. It's fuckin' beautiful and ever since they cleared out the crackheads it's been nothing but easy times. I mean, sometimes I miss the addicts. Hardly anyone ever talks to me now that they're gone, but you know, you gotta take the bad with the good. That's what I always say. Wait, what?
I don't even exist?
Man, fuck you.
posted by greenland at 9:27 PM
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